Solving problems together
by A Crazy Moron
Summary: The Vocaloid 8 (again) discuss their problems and solve them together. Rated T (again) for vulgarities and violence that might appear. The reason why the genre's family is because I see them as family-ish friends.
1. Kaito's problem

**Hello! I am, as you know, A Crazy Moron! This is my 2nd fanfic! Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid! Thank you for reading!**

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"I hate it when there's nothing to talk about," Kaito muttered to himself.

"Kaito talks too much," Miku snickered to herself.

"Gakupo thinks about eggplants too much," Rin grumbled to herself.

"What are you guys talking about?" Luka questioned the trio.

"AH! Maybe this can be about solving each others' problems!" Kaito exclaimed in front of Luka.

"Great, but you don't have to scream it at my face."

"Ah, I'm sorry."

"That's okay."

"Great! How about one problem per chapter?" Miku suggested.

"Good idea! Not all problems will be solved, though," Gumi smiled.

"For some reason, it seems that you want that to happen," Kaito and Luka thought at the same time.

"All right, who has a problem and wants to solve it in this chapter?" Rin asked.

Silence…

"Okay, the one who loses from scissors paper stone (or rock paper scissors) will share a problem for us to solve together," Rin finally said after a while.

"Okay." Everyone got ready. "Scissors, paper, stone!"

"Look, all the guys lost!" Gumi exclaimed.

"Argh," Kaito said.

"…" Len did not say anything.

"Eggplants!" Gakupo shouted.

"*sigh* Okay, guys, scissors, paper, stone!"

Kaito: Scissors

Len: Paper

Gakupo: Eggplant (Stone)

The cycle continued for 10 minutes.

"This is taking too long. Let's do another thing," Miku said.

"Okay, what numbers do you guys choose?" Rin looked at the guys.

"Six," Kaito said.

"Two," Len said.

"Eggplants!" Gakupo exclaimed.

"I'll… take that as nine," Rin calculated. "Seventeen."

She made the position to be from G, K and L. She stared at them for one second.

"Kaito."

"Eh? Why me?" Kaito asked.

"You were chosen, that's why."

"Ack."

"I know."

"At least you get to solve your problem," Luka said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Okay, so what's your problem?" Meiko asked. "Being unable to drink sake?"

"Obviously not. I don't drink sake. Unless you force me to."

"Then can I?"

"NO," Kaito and Luka said in unison.

"Aw…"

"Then being unable to eat eggplants? You can always eat them with me!" Gakupo exclaimed happily.

"Eh, thanks, but, that's not a problem."

"Being unable to get tortured by us everyday? Don't worry, we always have time for you," Gumi suggested with her famous annoying smile and tone.

"Of course not! Who would?!"

"Len would!"

"… I don't," Len said softly, looking sad.

"Len doesn't!" Kaito sort of increased the volume for Len. " Okay, the problem is…"

"What?" Luka asked.

"I don't know what 1+1 equals to."

…

"You're joking," Luka said.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. What's the answer?"

"Two."

"See?"

"Ack, fine. …I have hair problems."

"You don't," Luka said and looked at his hair. "It's pretty good."

"Hm…"

"Are you thinking for random problems to use? Wait, you are. It's obvious. The problems are to ridiculous for you. You're smart, and people can tell that you don't have hair problems (even if they might stick out in some illustrations, but it's only hair design. Everyone has to look different, right?)."

"That's… pretty long."

"Yeah, it is."

"Just choose a damn reason already!" Miku punched the table. "Like having too little leeks to eat!"

"Argh. The SS3 are too mean to guys."

"That's impossible to solve. Anyway, that's the end since Kai-bastard said a problem and we know whether it can be solved or not. Goodbye!" Gumi said.

"EHHHHHHHH-"

Case# 1- UNSOLVED

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**Poor Kaito! Anyway, this is the end of Chapter 1!**


	2. Len's problem

**I feel sad. I read other fanfics and realised something (though I knew that like ever since I was born). Suckish. I am teh suckish! Ta-da! Anyways, I don't own Vocaloid and stuff. ... Enjoy?**

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The Vocaloid 8 sat in the living room and stared at each other with a depressing atmosphere around them.

"Okay! Now, who's next?" Rin clapped her hands together, trying to destroy the depressing atmosphere.

"Kaito, you choose since we tried to solve your problem before!" Luka suggested.

"Except for the fact that we ended it abruptly and didn't solve it…" Kaito muttered to himself.

"We didn't?" Gumi asked pretending to not know that.

"Nevermind. How about… Eh… Len?"

"H-huh? Why me?" Len asked.

"You rarely appeared in the first chapter. In the other story too."

"…"

"You can't deny it."

"That's why I'm not saying anything."

"Yeah, I know."

"But I did appear a lot more than the previous story."

"Yeah, okay."

"ANYWAY, what's your problem?" Gumi asked.

"… I'm… a guy."

"... You want to be a girl?" Miku stared at him suspiciously.

"No, it's just that... a lot of females treat guys as if they [guys] are... a lot lower than their [females] level..."

"I don't," Luka said.

"He said a lot, Luka, a lot, not all," Kaito faced her.

"I know. I'm just clarifying that I'm not one of that 'a lot'."

"Ah, I see."

"But we don't see you as trash!" Gumi replied to Len's sentence. "We see you guys as a precious form of entertainment!"

"... That might be even worse," Kaito pointed out. "He didn't even say trash."

"Unless you want to be invisible. That's fine by us. Just don't bite your nails," Gumi supposedly advised, ignoring Kaito.

"... I don't bite my nails."

"One day you might. Like when you sit on a chair in a corner of a room all alone and hugging your legs and crying."

"… I didn't do that."

"Don't worry! If you feel alone, you can always eat leeks! They're great friends!" Miku exclaimed.

"No! Eating eggplants are better!" Gakupo shouted. Miku then beat him up.

"Leeks are **always** better than some shitty looking rotten purple eggplant," Miku said in an eerie tone with an aura to match her voice.

"I agree with you," Meiko said.

"Uh, back to the main point of the chapter?" Kaito said.

"Shut up, you," Miku and Meiko said in unison. Kaito stared at them for a while and sighed. "Looks like the guys' problems will never be solved…"

"EGGPLANTS!" Miku and Meiko looked at him, then at each other. Both nodded and smiled. Evilly.

Smash.

Case# 2- UNSOLVED

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**Ah well, looks like it's still too short and I put too much dialogues all the time. Anyway, don't feel depressed if you are. Happy people are much better than sad ones! :)**


	3. Gakupo's problem

**Hello once again! Despite being very depressed for not having enough views, I have posted the 3rd chapter! All the usual stuff so... thank you for reading? Note: Disclaimer in in the "All the usual stuff" category.**

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One week after Chapter 2, when "_The stupid retarded Eggplant Man_" recovered, the super depressing atmosphere came back. Kaito glared daggers at the light, Luka read a book silently, Gumi cleaned her goggles, Meiko dreamt about sake, Miku stroked her hair, Rin stared at her fingers, Gakupo ate eggplants (he was the only one giving a little happy atmosphere thingies) and Len looked down. They had nothing to do. Kaito sighed for some unknown reason.

"ARGH! I'm so pissed! So pissed that I won't even try to use both hands to keep it all inside!" Miku stood up suddenly and swung her arms around. "We already have a damn objective to do! What the friggin' hell? Why is there a depressing atmosphere?! Why are you guys NOT saying anything?" She plopped onto the sofa again and took out a leek from nowhere. "Sigh… Eating leeks are a million times better than bearing with this unnecessary silence of stupidity."

"Using both hands to keep it all inside? Why do you even need to use both hands? You can't even hold it," Kaito pointed out with this unnecessary dialogue of stupidity, according to Miku.

"Miku is right!" Rin exclaimed, ignoring Kaito (poor him, getting ignored all the time). "If we're just gonna sit here and do nothing, then we're just wasting a chapter! And that's not good at all!"

"Uh-huh! Now, who's gonna share a problem?" Gumi asked cheerfully looking at each and every one of the eight peeps.

"…"

"Eggplants!" was Gakupo's random outburst.

"Okay. So, Gakupo, what's your problem?"

"We eat too little eggplants! We should eat more eggplants!"

"Eh… No thanks," Kaito and Luka replied.

"But we should eat more eggplants!" Gakupo whined.

"Oh, shut up," Kaito said.

"It's not good eating only and too much eggplants," Luka continued.

"Huuuuuuuh…"

"Do you want to die early?" Kaito asked.

"No! I want to eat eggplants!"

"Then eat other kinds of healthy food too," Luka advised.

"Eggplants!"

"Is that a yes or a no?" Miku asked.

"Eggplants!"

"IS THAT A YES OR A NO?" Meiko screamed at Gakupo's face and punched him.

"What the hell? Don't punch him!" Kaito shouted, and with Luka, restrained Meiko from putting more damage on the unconscious Gakupo.

"Okay, so is 'We eat too little eggplants! We should eat more eggplants!' the problem of this chapter? I hope not," Miku wondered aloud.

"Well, since it IS Gakupo, it could be," Rin replied, folding her arms.

"Why is it always like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssss?!" Kaito screamed dramatically while putting his arms on his head dramatically and fell to his knees dramatically. Meiko lazily went to her room un-dramatically.

"We didn't solve anything yet!" Luka added half-dramatically half-not. "Author, stop putting the 'dramatically' thing after a sentence." Breaking the fourth wall?

"Ah, well. Let's eat eggplants, then, to solve this chapter's problem," Rin said.

"Oh yeah! That's right! That way, we can solve the first solved problem!" Kaito exclaimed.

"And that shows that guys' problems can still be solved (Refer to Chapter 2)!" Miku said. "Kai-retard's wrong!"

"Yeah, yeah. First Kai-bastard, now Kai-retard," Kaito muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

So they ate some eggplants silently. Just then, Wiggly Meiko came out from her room dragging an empty large sake bottle.

"Don't tell me…" Luka whispered to Kaito.

"She drank sake in her room while we were talking and then eating…" Kaito finished her sentence.

"Led'z kill all ze Gagupozzzz('Let's kill all the Gakupos', in case you were too lazy to find out)!" Meiko shouted, jumping on tables and chairs and charged towards Gakupo.

"There's only one though," Gumi said as she stepped aside for Meiko to smash Gakupo with the sake bottle. And she succeeded.

Poor Gakupo. Always happens.

Case# 3-SOLVED

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**I, being very stupid, am still trying to find ways to talk to people. That aside, thank you for reading! :3 **

**In Miku's first dialogue, the "using both hands" thing came from Ashe(?) from his cover "Matryoshka". **

**I am just so...  
stuff.**

**OTZ**


	4. Luka's problem

**Eh. Hi people. Same disclaimers, same complaints about being lame, same stuff.**

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"Uh, so, who's next?" Miku asked the rest of the group. It was a normal day where poor Gaku gets beaten up before and is fully recovered in the next one.

"... Me." The word came from someone who's very smart, nice, what some people would call sane, Luka Megurine. Or Megurine Luka.

"Uh, okay... May I ask why did you suddenly volunteer yourself?" Rin asked.

"Because I'm supposedly 'very manly'," Luka replied. "Since the guys are done for theirs (supposedly), I should be next."

"That's good! Saves us the trouble for choosing the person for this chapter," Gumi exclaimed in happiness.

"So... what's your problem, Luka?" Kaito asked.

"..." Luka looked deep in thought.

"... You didn't really think of it yet, did you?" Kaito pointed out with stupidity.

"... I just feel tired so I can't think."

"Which still means you didn't think of it yet."

"Well, yeah."

"Uh, okay."

"... Yeah."

"Um, great."

"... Yeah."

"Oh, puh-leaze! Stop this 'Aisu and Tuna' conversation and get on with it!" Gumi said, getting a little impatient. "Besides, Luka, you said '...Yeah' like... twice."

"... Yeah," Luka said once again.

"Uh, are you okay? Your brain's getting damaged from all the stupidity rays coming out from Gakupo? Getting frustrated that you were cursed with Kaito to be the 'Yelling Duo' of this group? Are you becoming a zombie who eats people's tunas?" Meiko asked, gently putting (or should I say slamming) her hand on the pink-haired lady's shoulder, sounding as if she was trying to comfort and not comfort her at the same time, which earned her a glare from Kaito and Rin, a snicker from Miku (for the Gakupo part), a shocked (and very stupid) expression from Gakupo and this:

Miku: Gakupo _is_ stupid.  
Rin: Eh.  
Kaito: For one thing, Gakupo does _not_ have stupidity rays coming out from him, (being very sarcastic) and for another thing, I _so very much _apologise for being cursed to be the so-called "Yelling Duo".  
Len: ...  
Gakupo: WHY YOU SO MEANIES TO EGGPLANTS?!  
Gumi: I do see some rats coming out of Zombie Gakupo's brain.  
Kaito: It's "rays" and it's not coming out from his brain, but from him. And Gakupo's not a zombie. Wait, why am I even correcting you? There are _no_ rays coming out from him. And he's human.  
Luka: My brain isn't damaged, I'm just replying back with "yeah".  
Gakupo: Meiko Meanies!

And so on, until Miku and Meiko punched Gakupo in the face (it must have really hurt). After the usual stuff and Gakupo recovering, they resumed to the **main **point of this damn thing.

"So, Luka, what's your problem?" Rin asked Luka wearily.

"Uh... I don't know what 1-1 is."

"... You're just like me, aren't you," Kaito thought to himself, and turned to Luka. "Eh. What do you think the answer is?"

"0."

"Obviously. You told me not to do what you're doing now."

"I know."

"Why are you acting like that? It's really worrying me," Kaito said with concern.

"It's just that..."

"That?"

"The shops... stopped selling tunas. Tunas... are an important part of my life, you know..." Luka sighed. "I really want... to eat it."

"Oh! This could be the problem! ... But, it's kinda hard to do," Miku said. Everyone sat there.

"Well, that means it'll be more interesting," Gumi smirked.

And so they did. They asked all shops for tunas and stuff like that.

A few months later...

"This is pointless! Nobody's doing anything to get tunas!" Miku sighed.

"Tunas..." Luka managed to say while her head was slammed into the table and stayed there since 1.5 seconds before Miku said that.

"AIcjcaslvhrjbkajdbuvcisdvj!" Meiko shouted suddenly. "Where the hell did all tunas go?!"

"Do you all want to know?"

Everyone gasped. Okay, most. Gakupo was way too stupid to realise what was going on and Len... just stared in a random direction.

"Well, they went much, much deeper into the sea... and you have to go there to find it."

"How... do you know?" Kaito asked in astonishment.

"Because_... I am there_."

And with that, the voice suddenly disappeared as it appeared. Everyone stared at each other and—

"You know what? The city's called 'Tunacity'. Awesome tunas there."

Eh. Anyways, the people went to the bottom of the ocean, or at least tried to. No matter who it was, they all died in the sea, never to be seen again.

Just kidding! *Rewinds*

"Why are you acting like that? It's really worrying me," Kaito said with concern.

"It's just that..."

"That?"

"Kaito... I... love y-!"

*Immediately rewinds*

"Why are you acting like that? It's really worrying me," Kaito said with concern.

"It's just that..."

"That?"

"Gakupo's room... smells like eggplants."

"... And?"

"And, the smell's so strong it somehow (and miraculously) broke a hole that separates my room from his and went in."

"... Ew." And with that, Meiko and Miku immediately took a deodoriser each and marched to Luka's room, spraying it all around, fixed the hole (it looked good as new *insert smiley face here*) and sprayed some deodoriser into Gaku's room causing Gakupo to be depressed for "NOT APPRECIATING EGGPLANTS COS' YOU'RE SO MEANIES!" and Luka to stare at them "because they sprayed too much and it might make my room smell worse than eggplants".

"Hey, Luka?" Kaito looked at _The MeiKu Duo_ laughing madly and evilly, three-line-faced at them and then turned to ask Luka, looking at her in the eyes.

"Yes?" She asked back.

"Why... didn't you tell us about it sooner?" He sighed.

"I didn't want to hurt Gakupo's feelings. You _do_ know he's really sensitive when it comes to eggplants, right?" Luka tilted her head a little for some reason and folded her arms. "Well, I guess it's pretty much pointless now."

They saw Gakupo bawling his eyes out and _The Meiku Duo_ still not done with their evil and mad laughter. Len came over to the depressed eggplant dude, patted him on the back and quietly said, "Don't cry. Do you want to... eat eggplants... with me?"

With that, Gakupo stopped crying and lit up. He then happily agreed with Len's suggestion and pulled the poor yellow dude to his room to eat eggplants.

"Eh," Rin said. "Anyway, Luka's problem's solved, so does that mean it's done for this?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Look, Kai-asshole! Half of the all the chapters are solved!" Miku slapped Kaito on the back.

"Hey," Luka said with a hint of annoyance.

"Ugh," Kaito said, trying to regain his balance, because Miku sure hits hard when it comes to hitting guys.

"And I don't need another 'Kai-something' as my nickname."

"Okay, Kai-something!" Miku gave a smile that gave off the same feeling as Gumi's famous annoying smile. When Gumi saw this, she started doing it too. In front of Kaito, beside Miku. Now Kaito had to see to people smiling irritatingly at him.

"Damn it."

Case#4-SOLVED

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**As you have realised, this chapter is quite long. Ahaha.**

**Always the same stuff.**


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